In everyday life, we end up rubbing people the wrong way, mostly unintentionally. As kids, I am sure we have all had our share of fun by irritating our parents, friends, and teachers. How about annoying our neighbors, for no reason? Maybe there were times your neighbors pulled a prank on you and you were at the receiving end. Or you have neighbors who are forever complaining and making a hullabaloo over trivial matters, and still others who are gossip-mongers. Well, give them a taste of their own medicine.
Ways to Annoy Your Neighbors
- Whenever you mow and rake your garden, aim the leaf blower directly at the neighbor's yard, making sure to see that their garden is filled with all the clippings and other debris.
- Park your car right in front of the neighbor's gate, or in their driveway, making sure it causes a lot of inconvenience. They will come asking you to take it away. Tell them you will do it ASAP, but do not actually go ahead with it.
- Keep the car doors open and put on the stereo at a deafeningly high volume, and bang the car doors repeatedly.
- Similarly, at night, play ear-splitting music at your home, well until the wee hours of the morning! Or just play the drums and strum the guitar close to their walls, which will annoy them no end.
- Sign up for loads of junk mail using your neighbor's name and address. They will sure be a frustrated lot when they see the mailbox overflowing with hundreds of letters!
- If you have kids, let them play and create a ruckus in the yard or in the neighbor's driveway. This will really chafe them if they are averse to kids. And if they are, drop in without prior notice, and ask them to babysit your kids, saying you have to attend to an important work immediately!
- Have a garden party in your yard, invite lots of friends, and talk and shout over the top of your voice. You may get a warning or two, but the whole point is to annoy your neighbors, right? So continue talking in the same loud pitch as long as the party lasts!
- Strew lots of garbage and all leftover food from the kitchen right in their garden, yard, or in front of their house. Whatever you intend to scatter, make sure it will attract hordes of flies and stray dogs!
- Hang numerous wind chimes in your garden, loud enough to disturb the next-door folks!
- Daub a generous layer of petroleum jelly or oil over their gate and door knobs. Then watch their reaction when they open the gate/door!
- Call up several of the religious organizations and give them your neighbor's address and ask them to pay a visit, saying you are very interested in joining them!
- Keep an eye out for the newspaper boy. As soon as he delivers the paper at your neighbor's doorstep, make a run for it and steal it before your neighbor opens the door. Remain alert; you do not want to get caught red-handed!
- Enlist their name and phone number in the local newspaper, specifying that they have their car/home up for sale, or they have a garage sale with items they want to sell at throwaway prices! Or just advertise their number as that of a massage parlor, and enjoy yourself when they narrate stories of incessant and unwanted phone calls.
- Crank calls, or call them prank calls, the classic way to annoy people! Call your neighbors repeatedly asking for a certain XYZ, even after they have yelled at you that no one by that name lives there. Keep in mind to use an unlisted number or a number they are not aware of.
- This one should be attempted with care. Light a fire (check the wind direction first) such that the smoke drifts right into your neighbor's house/yard, especially if they are having a cook-out or are sunbathing!
- If their garden has topiary, clip them such that they are left shapeless, or carve some imaginative shapes out of them. Imaginative such that your neighbors should be highly displeased when they take a look at the newly trimmed creation!
- If they are on vacation, plant some very fast-growing shrubs in their garden. A day before they are due to return, water the garden so the entire area is completely waterlogged and way too squishy. Feign innocence if they ask you whether you know who ruined their garden!
- If its winter, build a large snowman such that it becomes impossible for them to maneuver their car! Or when you clear up the snow from your yard, dump all of it right into their driveway!
- Hide a motion-sensing electronic watch dog (the ones used as burglar alarms) near their door in such a fashion that it makes a loud bark every time your neighbor opens and closes the door.
- These suggestions are for people who live in apartments. Cook something that will emit highly obnoxious odors (try garlic, hot peppers, radish), making sure it wafts right through into their apartment. Secondly, if you have a racket or a baseball bat, thump the ceiling repeatedly which can be highly irritating to the people upstairs, especially if you have wooden floors with no carpet! Or have the TV on at full volume (works even better if you own a home theater!). If you share a common laundry, leave your clothes in the washer/dryer and do not attempt to take them out, even after repeated reminders.
Phew! That's a lot many ways to really nettle your neighbors. If you have any more creative ideas, let me know! You would have to be sneaky and do some of the things mentioned above. Don't just overdo it, or you may have to face law enforcement officers at some point of time.